You are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes.
You are not a failure until you start making excuses.
You are not a failure until you look outside and not within.
You are not a failure unless you become a victim.
You are not a failure until you quit.
I have really tackled these things in my life that seem so uncomfortable to face in ourselves. Are you not sick and tired of getting the same results in some areas of your life because you keep doing things wrong? They say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Oh, really? Says who? Because this old dog has and will continue to learn all the good new tricks and is determined enough to master them.
Sometimes being honest with ourselves, when no one is watching, when you get a real open look at the real you.
The one no one else knows or sees too often is not comfortable.
You know what I am talking about. But if we want to not fail, or at least fail less, we have to do this. Alone with ourselves and God. Just get naked and real before you and Him.
This is when you are really serious about having, and living real good in your life. Who doesn't want that? Who wants to live a pretending life?
I used to be fat, pretty heavy. I weighed at one point in my life 178 pounds. I really hated looking at me in the mirror especially with a bathing suit. I had to buy clothing that was not so nice. Once we were at the beach and one of my nephews saw me in my bathing suit and he said this when he saw me: "Yikes, Aunt Mariam, you are fat. Go put your clothes on, you look prettier with your clothes on". Oh, I felt so insulted and bad. But guess what? It was the honest truth. I said never again. It is my fault and if it is bothering me so bad, and I want to look good in my eyes and everyone else then I will change it or else I have no right to get upset when people see the truth. So I did and to this day I work hard to maintain that. I really like it and I enjoy it.
That is me. I could change that for me. Alone with me.
When we start blaming others for choices we have made that have ended us in pain and in a bad spot. We fail. So we have to start by blaming us. We are the ones at fault. That, my dear friends, is a very good place to be in. There are solutions to that and they don't involve anyone else but you. You! is easy to fix.
Complicated is when you feel the need to fix someone else because of your failure. That one is complicated to the max and always end up in depression, anger, resentment and more pain. So blame you. Yes, and do it with pen and paper in hand. It works better when you see it and read it.
When you start making excuses to cover up "Most-Glorious, Never-Wrong, Wonderful You" and whatever it was you failed at. The truth is that you will keep on failing at everything. I know I am 57 years old and know a few things by now and this is bad to the bone if you don't face it. But, guess what? Rejoice and shout for joy. Say to yourself "Yeehaw" There is hope in this too. It only takes you to fix it.
Write down how these excuses only point to your fear of facing a failure in you. Oh, I love doing this lately, because one can really change then and become better and life becomes easy and happy.
I am fed up with all the blah, blah, blahs that lead you to the same failing results. I have been so sick of it because there's no progress or real tangible solutions. Then because of fear, laziness or some stupid excuse of sad selfishness, I wound up in the same spot. Sometimes worse than before. So I am really loving this time of facing me and, looking deep within and fixing the failures in my life that were caused by me and only me.
"Me" is good to fix me. But you have to really want to fix "Me".
I used to have this victim mentality really bad. With this, I am not saying that there have not been any real reasons that would entitle me to feel and act that way. But the honest truth is that instead of helping you to overcome, and focus, and get better, and be happy and have a positive vibe and attitude,
these self-stopping, self-paralyzing, self-destroying mentalities will drag you deeper downhill into failing more.
So get rid of that now. In every area of your life.
Write down all the victim attitudes you have. All of them. And check yourself that they are not creeping up on you. If so, when they do, once you know them and read them because you have been honest about writing them down, these self-annulling, self-destroying attitudes and reactions will be easy to catch, stop and remove far away from you.
I have great news for you, we are all sinners, we just sin differently. But we all are. We have all failed and we will never be the perfect one, but we can become better at trying with all our mind, soul and being to reach that very and most important goal. Of changing for the better.
If I die on my way to that, I will be a very happy camper.
I want to go to the moon but if I can only make it to the nearest star I will be happy because I would have covered a lot of ground. Yes, we will die on our way to there but what a happy death we will have.
I have failed many times and will try with all my strength to fail no more but I will never quit and certainly never give up when and if I do. I am going to get as close as I can every day to become a better person and I will not ever give up in doing so!
How about it? Will you join me? We will all be better for that and by that, we will make our life, family, community, country, and the world a much better place to hang around in. That is the great thing about failure it makes you change and grow for the better. So cheer up, If you fall, get up again. You will make it my dear winner friends. You Will Make It!!!
This is Mariam and this is My Ami Way.
Remember always to Keep Love Above.